The truth is that my bf and I havent slept together for about a month now because were both pretty far from each other at the moment. He loves me but not the way I loved him. I'm having another herpes genital breakout today. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. I am devasted to think I alone am the cause. I hope my books will help but you need something more. Let me start off by saying you are a wonderful person for accepting your husband as he was and not judging him by what he have. We've gotten back into our normal, vanilla groove in the bedroom and things are good actually, better than good, although I wonder when the thought of "is this going to be the time I give it to him?" STIs are the most common cause of genital sores. When I confronted him he denied and said it he is fed up of my suspicious nature and that he would like to leave me! They may have had bad experiences disclosing that kind of information in the past. My Partner Has Genital Warts. The further I go down this menopausal path, the more I find myself getting infections down there. Ive (22F) been dating my boyfriend (25M) for about three years now. We've been together 4 yrs now and believe it or not, I'm cleaned. He has had 2 affairs (15 years apart), we have been married for almost 29 years Ink had one outbreak (august). He has worked on himself a great deal so that now he treats me with almost decency yet he doesnt understand that despite his efforts he is still cruel in many ways. He had not. He's been incredibly kind and accepting. However, it is not ALL your fault that your marriage has reached this place. will stop crossing my mind. Moreover, ours is a 5 yr plus marriage but we know each other for 11-12 years now And in all these years he has many times said no one can love me more than he does! I cant even speak to him without getting sad or angry. I'm in absolute terror about telling my wife I have herpes - please They don't think it's a danger, so why should they make the emotional investment of revealing an STI? He says my mom asked him to marry me as her last wish during her cancer therapy And so he did it for her but now he cannot take it anymore. I shot back a sarcastic remark about BS tests. I really was stressed as only a few months prior I had left my high school sweetheart turned husband. my sis has herpes and she was NOT allowed to have a vaginal delivery because they needed to keep the baby safe. He says he is not feeling connection with me. 17 Signs Your Husband Hates You (Painful red flags to notice) I have an anxiety/panic attack disorder. My boyfriend at the time decided that he wanted me to call the guys that I cheated with and tell them that they gave me herpes. You shouldn't be waiting for a potential partner to get up the nerve to tell you they have an STI. I don't like taking pills, but I no longer trusted my own body because how long had I had herpes and not known? Congratulations for looking at yourself and seeing what you would like to change. Then why worry about telling people? I had an extramarital affair with a man who has a similar sexless marriage. 10 Reasons Your Partner Hasn't Told You About Their STI. His self-help books include the international best-seller I Love You But Im Not In Love With You. My husband has Herpes, now what do I do? - Sexually - Inspire Molluscum contagium: Transmission. I feel very weird about this, hes very uncomfortable and Im pain and I want to help and comfort him but I also feel betrayed. We offer this Site AS IS and without any warranties. Then one night I was feeling froggy and attempted to have sex with him. undefined will no longer be visible to you including posts, replies, and photos. You had the right to have an affair for companionship because the person is more important to you then sex. We did have happy five years as I remember but his memory of them is completely opposite. While I haven't been officially diagnosed with HSV-2 yet, I am fairly certain I have it due to my symptoms and the typical symptoms of a first outbreak. I have suffered from panic attacks and feelings of embarrassment and shame since the diagnosis. I dont know what to do. . Doctor confirmed it was herpes. I pray that we can get through this, suppressive therapy does work. He doesn't miss you when you're gone, and he's indifferent to your absence. I can hold off telling my husband for only so long, because despite being asexual we probably do try to have sex once or twice a year. Not sure how long I've had it . I guess there is just one way to find out. It thinks the cheater is the only one that can possibly fix the situation and that is with YEARS of self-reflection to figure out how he allowed him/her self to lie, cheat and do all the other things necessary to have an affair. My husband got me HERPES II : STD - Reddit But that also he would not be willing to go to therapy of any kind. I would take 1000mg of valacyclovir for 5 days and it would heal relatively quickly. I literally just can't stop thinking about it all the time and I am sooo scared to tell the two partners I have been having casual sex with (one who i think have it to me and the other who I might've potentially given it to). When I tried asking and got angry on no response he said he doesnt feel connected with me anymore. Telling someone you have an STI is a hard thing to do. It must be very painful especially as it has happened before. The method by which I contracted it still makes me hard on myself to this day and I often reflect on the time when I knew something was wrong in my body but never got a proper doctor's exam. He was not comforting to me at all he was not reassuring me he was not telling me he loved me he was honestly just sulking in self-pity because he was in pain/uncomfortable due to the outbreak. He simply said he doesnt have it in him anymore to be caring or loving as his past relationship was very abusive and manipulative but towards him. Every time I confront him about the girl or the current disconnect he tries and turns the discussion towards our marriage against his will! My (24F) husband (33M) told me last night that his girlfriend before me gave him herpes (hsv2). In other words he never wanted to marry. . I didnt know he was unhappy from day 1? I mean I got a grandbaby I don't want to give this shit to her. Did I get it before me and him got married did i give it to him ? Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex. Living With Herpes - What I Wish I'd Known Before My Diagnosis This article was originally published at Blunt Moms. EDIT: I am sure 100% that he did not get the herpes from me because I specified in Planned Parenthood that I needed to know if I have herpes and my results came back fine. Never disregard the medical advice of your physician or health professional, or delay in seeking such advice, because of something you read on this Site. Its possible that Ive had it for years and just never knew. I don't understand why I still do not handle it well whenever I have a breakout and I don't know how to not be upset and more depressed the entire time when having a breakout like the one that has started today. I told my husband I have herpes. We are struggling with this as it comes up at least every 3-4 days where my husband asks me, why? I'm not a hipster and I'm happy with my vanilla beige life. I walked in the door, took one look at him, and became completely unhinged. As my mind raced to figure out how and when she gently told me herpes was blameless and that my husband or I had probably had it for quite some time and just not known. Alex Alexander is a pseudonym. In April I had an awful HSV outbreak on my mouth, and only two small sores in my regular outbreak location in my pubic area. Can't really talk to anyone cause no insurance can't go see real dr about problem no money just free std testing where I'm told oh its not that bad. Now hes saying that he doesnt why he did. RELATED: The First Lifelong Gift My Husband Gave Me Was Herpes. By Alex Alexander Written on Dec 29, 2022. Weve been trying to work on our marriage over the last year and everything seems to be getting better. It sounds like you have worked hard on this relationship and trying to understand your fianc. And a few other things had happened. How does anyone really ever get past this? I was recently diagnosed with genital herpes. My partner says he got So how is it that I could just now break out and my husband has no signs or symptoms? Don't wait until your panties are off before you reveal this little tidbit, but don't frame something that impacts roughly 40 percent of the population as doom and gloom. I stayed in this relationship still but cheated twice. And I told him that of if he didnt feel anything or want this to continue to just leave. Me (32F) have been married to my husband (40M) for a year. I however have less outbreaks . He stayed and asked me to marry him later. Could I have this STD and have no signs or symptoms? On many occasions I found email exchanges between them hinting at a relationship going on My neighbors even saw them come home in office hours when I was gone to work! 47 years old recently diagnosed with herpes. Does anyone else have a partner with an STD and you don't? Let's move into the realm of ethically questionable reasons for not telling a partner that you have an STI. I have been in my marriage for 20 years, and never had an affair. Reprinted with permission from the author. While we were dating I opened up to him about how my first long term bf gave my chlamydia not something Im proud of but definitely not something Im ashamed of, sometimes things just happen out of your control. Especially with him being with multiple women. Husband gave me herpes : r/Marriage - Reddit