Playing by the rules Not all sick calls are fakes. So, you might as well try to get someone to cover your shift. Employee just put a casserole in the oven. Laugh? They call it a "paycheck" when it's barely an allowance! These Are The Funniest Excuses For Calling In Sick - #TQOTD - Mix 95.7FM An exact digital replica of the printed edition, is available early morning. In between a raging headache, sniffly nose, or rising temperature, it can be challenging to focus. If anything it means youre ballsy. Following is our collection of funny Calling In Sick jokes. Employee said he had better things to do. Access the eNewspaper at. #StrangeReasonsToCallOutSick because I called out yesterday, 2 days is more believable A Lego to the foot will mess you up. Yeah I barely know him but the funeral looks awesome! While not at the office, this Panda enjoys creepy movies, poetry, photography and learning how to play the piano. #StrangeReasonsToCallOutSick pic.twitter.com/OJrEbBhmVj I wouldn't want anyone like peers knowing why I am calling in. Poo~Pourri (@PooPourri) February 4, 2020, Just pooped and it smells too good #StrangeReasonsToCallOutSick, Poo~Pourri (@PooPourri) February 4, 2020. So, does this mean they were too afraid to go outside? Herbert: "Okay hun, I promise she's not your size anyway". And I got sicker. #StrangeReasonsToCallOutSick to see if I can catch the Legos . Place classified and announcement notices or grow your business with advertising and marketing solutions. Sickie Excuse 4: I got bitten by a mosquito. #StrangeReasonsToCallOutSick. Employee had to attend the funeral of his wife's cousin's pet because Most of the workers surveyed said they did it because they were tired, needed to relax or run errands, or because they simply didn't feel like working that day -- but, of course, that's not what they told the boss. "Dr. Chang, what did he do?". Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! And they still dare to call me a color man, "It's my eyes," he says. The black man smiles, looks at the white man and says, "Sir, when I was born I was black, when I am sick I'm black, when I'm cold I'm black, when I'm angry I'm black and when I sad I'm black. By Erik Sherman, Contributor, Inc.com @ ErikSherman Getty. It's still cold and flu season, and the coronavirus is freaking people out across our nation. Lawyer (Whining) : Officer, look what happened to my beamer. Some of these things are actual things people have said to their boss or HR person. And by the way, you have a nice house. 10 Downright Crazy Excuses for Calling in Sick. Employee had to testify against a drug dealer and the dealer's friend Make a big bowl of popcorn, wrap up in your favorite blanket and enjoy! Copyright 2023 CBS Interactive Inc. All rights reserved. #StrangeReasonsToCallOutSick pic.twitter.com/I1fCvIaOit, Kristen Whitworth (@vespervega) February 4, 2020. Many of us would like to hunker down and hide away in our homes, mainlining vitamin C and binging Netflix. The first blonde digs a hole, and the second one fills the dirt right back in. Ooops! even when I die I continued to be black. Calling in Sick Actual reasons people have called in sick Employee's cervix was hurting (from a male employee). Years ago, I worked with a woman who was always calling in sick or calling in to say she would be late. I come to work in a while By the way, you have very nice house.". -- I got lost and wound up driving to another state. And if you bite it hard enough, it could be a good reason to stay home. Ms. Dreamer (@MsJadeDreamer) February 4, 2020, Because everyone else is sick and I dont want their damn germs #StrangeReasonsToCallOutSick, Ms. Dreamer (@MsJadeDreamer) February 4, 2020. On death's door I called for Dr. Please include what you were doing when this page came up and the Cloudflare Ray ID found at the bottom of this page. Some of these things are actual things people have said to their boss or HR person. The man replies happily, "Dr. Chang did the best of all, he didn't come, so I got well! I have never seen Jabba the Hut in handbag form. He was back in a couple of days. Sickie Excuse 1: I got my fingers stuck in a bowling ball. Its a full time job to take care of kids, and running, Buying a piece of art isnt like going to the store and buying groceries. And that can ruin your whole day. I had a kid that was already at work call and say he hit his head and it was gushing blood everywhere. The second is that how are you going to drive with a gang bang of cars on the hood of your car. Snowed in, and they lived next door to work. Ok": Employee Leaves Work During An Emergency Because Manager Wouldn't Approve His Overtime, Couple's Plan To Outwit Another Passenger Before Takeoff Backfires As The Stranger Ends Up With A Whole Free Row In Return, "A Monkey Could Do Your Job": Karen Manager Orders Employee To Print A Video File, Gets Fired, "False Frugalities": 45 Examples Of People Trying To Save But Actually Losing Money, 50 Photos Of People Who Are Having A Worse Day At Work Than You (New Pics), MIL Decided To Wear White To Son's Wedding, So The Bride Made Every Bridesmaid Wear White While She Wore Pink, Boss Believes That Employee Is Not Doing Her Duties While Working From Home, Calls Her Out As She Can Be Offline For Up To An Hour, "You Are So Beaut-OHGOD! And technically thats a legitimate call out sick reason. Seafood disco? You can cancel at any time by calling Customer Service at 1-800-332-6733. Mommas, don't let your babies post to Twitter when they're goofing off. Of those employers who followed up, 48 percent said they called the employee personally, 19 percent checked the employee's Facebook and other social media posts, 17 percent asked another employee to call the sick employee, and 15 percent went as far as driving past the employee's house. "I do what you say. CareerBuilder surveyed more than 3,100 full-time workers and 2,500 full-time hiring and human resource managers to find out how many of us call of sick to work, and exactly why we do it. The catastrophic implosion that killed all five people aboard a submersible vessel is likely to intensify calls for stronger regulations and oversight of an industry that has long operated . You should probably have called the hospital first. Funny2 - Calling in Sick Wong agrees and three hours later he calls his boss again. That's up from 28 percent last year. If you purchased a subscription through an app store you will need to link your app purchase in order to have full access to our desktop and mobile website, in addition to our app. The doctor strolled into the room within seconds, and whilst I stuttered and tried to comprehend the situation, he gave me some medicine to ease the symptoms. Quizi The Wonderful Wizard Of Ox (@Quizical123) February 4, 2020, I went to the seafood disco and ended up pulling a mussel #StrangeReasonsToCallOutSick, Quizi The Wonderful Wizard Of Ox (@Quizical123) February 4, 2020. If only there was, like, a slab of dedicated free time that you could use to make such a . Im Not Coddling Her Anymore: After Years Of Walking On Eggshells Around Her Childless Sister, This Mother Stands Up For Her Son, Woman Pays A Lot Of Money For A Comfortable Seat On The Train, Elderly Woman Wants Her To Move, Clueless Director Calls For A Meeting Over Mass Resignation After Company Cancels WFH, Employee Explains It In A Way He Would Understand, Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" Not all employers take employees at their word when they call in sick, even when the call sounds legitimate. Read calling in sick yelling jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) that will make you laugh out loud. Had a coworker once call in saying he had to stay home to clean because someone broke into his house and peed on his couch. Glamour may earn a portion of sales from products that are purchased through our site as part of our Affiliate Partnerships with retailers. "Well, Dr. Li came and gave me a special diet. Performance & security by Cloudflare. Also, keep it vague. When I have a cold I'm still black. The lawyer calls the cops. People reveal ridiculous and funny reasons they would call in sick By Bex W on April 13, 2020 Let's face it; many of us have had a day when we can't think of anything worse than heading into work. I called in for an interview because my daughter's crazy-ass cat had me trapped in a room once. Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app. Here's what John might say on the phone to his supervisor, Mary: "Good morning, Mary, this is John Bedford. Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. S (@Simbra75) February 4, 2020, You can't even #StrangeReasonsToCallOutSick pic.twitter.com/M3GKsWfw2I, Please SHARE this with your friends and family. One day, she called to say she had driven over a mattress and it had started on fire under her car. Scroll down below to read the list and share *your* strange reason to get you off work. "Oh, so you're sick!" 9 - Car Trouble, A young woman called in sick because she wanted to go pick out a new car. View more comments #2 Here are some really odd and funny excuses ever uttered. A few days later, I caught her m**. She called me a "SICK PERVERT!" How are you supposed to go to work with your mind blown like that? cheers yall (@1partVodka) February 4, 2020, My weighted blanket is holding me hostage #StrangeReasonsToCallOutSick pic.twitter.com/1DMHX1WqRz, cheers yall (@1partVodka) February 4, 2020. My coworker called in last week because his furnace wouldn't turn off. Hes calling out sick. They keep you nice and cozy. had to stay home. You could try to use these for yourself, but we do not give any guarantees on these excuses actually working. #StrangeReasonsToCallOutSick, Michael (@Sckswithsandals) February 4, 2020. Its true that a lot, Each of the four seasons certainly have their positives, but they equally have their not-so-positive points. Each edition explores different subjects such as travel, food, technology, and much more, Newsletters can be sent right to your inbox! When you feel under the weather, it's hard to get any quality work done. Vacations do take time to plan. Payments are non-refundable, and there are no refunds or credits for the unused portion of a subscription that has been cancelled before the end of a billing cycle. Ready to take control of your job search? Employee had a "lucky night" and didn't know where he was.